Family Relationships In Hard Times
Family Relationships in Hard Times
By Ruth Furr
You’re Moving In With WHO … ?
Family relationships in hard times often suffer from unavoidable stress. An economy in crisis, and families who can no longer pay their way, becomes a combination that might result in unusual survival measures.
During the Great Depression when the government’s public welfare department set about to assist folks in need, entire families were moved in with other needy families who happened to have a home large enough to squeeze them all in. Never mind that they were strangers to each other!
A dining room became a combination living and dining room with kitchen privileges. If there were children, a cot was added to a guest bedroom, and an enclosed porch became extra sleeping quarters. Needless to say, house rules were established and observed for the duration. Ideally, the families became friends; nevertheless, family relationships were unavoidably stressed.
It’s doubtful that the current state of the economy will require such drastic measures, but many a single young adult is finding it financially feasible to move back home with their parents, at least until the recession thing blows over.
Some elderly folks — singles or couples — whose fixed income no longer covers their needs, are finding the possibility of blending with the families of married sons or daughters an increasingly attractive idea.
Motivated by dwindling resources, singles or couples of all ages are exploring their options for doubling up — temporarily, of course — with other family members or close friends willing to accommodate them for mutual financial benefit.
But slow down! Such a move requires research, with many questions asked and answered. Is it possible to spend a few days, or a weekend, with your “target” hosts?
Some things are essential to iron out in advance, such as agreement to the exact arrangements; how much rent and food money will you be required to pay … is the amount acceptable to all concerned? What is the division of the living quarters? Does anyone have special needs? How about schedules … any conflict there? Does everyone understand and agree to the house rules? Remember, loss of a certain amount of freedom goes with the deal.
That said, differences will inevitably crop up. When they do, don’t let them fester. Deal with them right away while heads are still cool. Some folks have found the once-a-week “group meeting” idea — in a comfortable setting — to be most successful in airing differences or misunderstandings congenially and putting them to rest.
No doubt, family relationships are tested in hard times. Whether the testing is between families or within families, it’s an opportunity for all members to exercise maturity and thoughtfulness. It might be helpful to establish the three C’s: Courtesy, Consideration, and Compassion — as a way of life.
If doubling-up in someone else’s home is definitely in your future, don’t let hard times rule. Use the occasion to develop a sense of humor and make it an enjoyable experience for all!
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